Emergency Room Traditions

     It should come as no surprise that working at a summer camp is extremely challenging when you have severe leg pain and sleep problems. Last year I was unable to go for the first time since 2007 because my sleep and heat allergy situation was too awful. Getting around these days is only made possible through constant usage of my bike. When I was a camper I didn't really have the idea to bring a bike with and tried to get by by scarfing down advil. Not a recipe for success, which is why I had to go home for a week's break most summers. I had to go home sooner than expected this summer too, but it was when the campers left so not the worst thing in the world. The problem is that even with my bike I'm extremely dependent on my weekly massages. I had a couple of appointments in Perth but the first one wasn't a registered massage therapist and so refused to push hard for deep tissue work. The second place was better, where they told me that the only other patients they use maximum pressure on besides me are those who weigh 400 pounds and so they need extra strength to get through the fat. Unfortunately, all of the massage places in the area started becoming fully booked. Not having massages brought my pain up to 8.75 out of 10 so I went back home for the summer just to get one. During these pain spikes, it's not so much that I want to die, because the consequences of that would be terrible. More so, even outside pain spikes, I wish I never existed in the first place. This quote does a good job of explaining this perspective:

      Most of my official job this year was essentially being a writer and actor. On most nights counselors would perform plays for the kids and that's what I worked on. I became pretty adept at adapting popular tv shows and movies to work in a kid friendly camp setting. This year we chose Harry Potter, Brooklyn 99, and the Princess Bride. This job turned out to be a great fit for me because it mostly doesn't require standing and if I'm occasionally nocturnal I can just write the scripts at night. Since I sleep through entire days it was definitely a challenge to make scheduling these programs workable but my coworkers did a great job of accommodating me so I didn't miss any of the super important stuff.
     Acting has always been a favourite activity of mine and camp is a great welcoming place for that kind of thing. It wasn't just limited to the plays, though. Interacting with and entertaining the many children is essentially constant improv acting. It's one of the most fulfilling feelings when kids come up to you to say things like "Mitch, you're really nice. You made my camp experience way better. Are you coming back next year? Are you going to winter camp?" I even had kids ask me to take them on their trip counselor-in-training to Israel and had to explain I couldn't even go on my own group's trip to Israel in 2011 because of my health issues. Aside from the great feedback I'd know the plays were good when the cast was too busy laughing at the jokes during rehearsals.
     I loved doing silly things like creating an army of children with water guns at the local splash pad and directing them to attack other counselors. Of course they inevitably eventually turned on me but for awhile they were running around literally chanting my name. One group of little girls figured out I was ticklish and took full advantage of it. The problem for me is my legs are not capable of simply running away like anyone else would. One or two I could handle, but they had an entire squadron. There was one instance where I made the mistake of trying to run away, for just a few seconds, to the staff only area. Even this tiny burst of quickness made me deeply regret that decision because of the extra leg pain over the next few days.
    In the rare instances I got serious about something they'd listen; which allowed me to make rules like "no tickling Mitch while he's eating so he doesn't choke to death." I'd make deals like "I'll tell you what the play tonight is about if I get a temporary break." They'd agree and then gleefully tell me their fingers were crossed. My goals were simply to make sure they had a good time and that certainly happened because when I approached the kids to say goodbye at the end of the summer their parents said they'd already heard all about me, even though I wasn't even a counselor. Other staff would observe my shenanigans and said sent me messages saying things like "You are amazing! The kids love you and you always somehow have the energy for them." This is interesting because the main reason I always seemed to have energy for them is that when I didn't have the energy I'd stay away from camp at an Air BNB in Perth. Usually I'd be sleeping on the camp grounds so I'd be visible even when I'm not well enough to be productive but since this year was different people only really saw me when I was at my best.

     That's right, for my first time ever I didn't sleep on the campgrounds this year. The person in the place I usually slept in was an older guy and not willing to share the space with me. Instead I found a very cheap Air BNB in the nearby town. I had my car with me so I'd drive to camp whenever I happened to be awake. Since my sleep schedules are very random I'd often take over the night watch job if those assigned to it wanted to go to bed. Normally I would have declined a paycheqeue because I don't do this for the money and it's a non-profit camp. However, paying a few hundred dollars for a place to sleep so I can do work isn't the best situation. So myself and those in charge agreed to a compromise. Since I'm awake roughly half the time, I'd take half of what my paycheque would have been and put it all towards partially paying for the rent. That covered around half of it.
     As for the place itself, it luckily had a very loud air conditioner right outside my room which masked all the noise from downstairs where the owner would hang out. I helped take car of his 2 cats and 2 dogs which probably would have been a problem for most people but I didn't really mind. His neighbors were supposed to watch them while the owner was gone but I felt they were often lacking diligence. There were a few weird rules too. When you finish taking a shower (which is also the room where the cat food is) you'd have to make sure the door was propped open enough so that the cat can get in but closed enough so that the dogs couldn't get in and eat the cat's food.
    It's almost tradition at this point that I have to get sent to the emergency room for one reason or another whenever I go to camp. I've had to go every year for the past 5 years except the one summer I wasn't at camp. This year the problem was an unexplained very strange rash. It was a bunch of tiny vescicles that were sometimes white and sometimes red and they appeared all over my body. They could be scraped off but I was warned by the camp nurse not to do that in case they were dangerous pustules. They only mildly stung but was told by doctors to get it checked out quickly. The emergency room doctor said they'd never seen this kind of rash before and didn't think it was related to my heat allergy. They thought it might be inflammation of the hair follicles, but I noticed that they also appear where there's no hair so myself and the docs in my family disagreed. I have inflamed hair follicles on my feet and they present very differently.  They gave me antibiotics but said not to take them unless it doesn't go away in 48 hours. It didn't go away permanently but I started to strongly
suspect it was in fact heat allergy related, so I never took them. The doctor got very excited when I mentioned I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and said she'd never seen one of these before either. This has happened to me several times now. Pictures of rash below:

     Eventually I noticed that these vesicles tended to appear in concert with my regular red hives heat rash. It seemed like it was just a sudden new symptom of an old problem. I don't know why it decided to get worse now, but the dots are quite ugly and bothersome. I'm getting quite sick of new symptoms popping up with no explanation while lacking in potential treatments. In contrast, very little seems to be improving. My lactose intolerance is getting better, so there's that. What threw me off about this new problem's causes is that my regular heat rash hives go away quickly once I cool down but these lasted for another 24-48 hours.
   Overall, camp is both an extremely challenging and fulfilling experience. On the one hand, the pain was at times so bad I was in tears. On the other hand, it's a huge mood boost because writing scripts and entertaining kids is something I can excel at despite my health problems. Sure the kids were curious, asking about why I use a cane and bugging their counselors about where I was when I would sleep through the day. Ultimately, they didn't care about my associated baggage, they just cared that I was fun and were upset when I wasn't around. It's almost therapeutic in its own way to be a strong presence at the camp despite everything and expressing my creativity in a productive manner. It's rougher than you can imagine, but somehow definitely still worth it.

Mitch the Guinea Pig

     The most interesting recent occurrence that took place just a few days before writing this was the agreement between my sleep doctor and I to do a research case study on lil' ol' me! The doctor had already been studying me since I started seeing him a year ago when my previous two sleep doctors ran out of ideas to help me. Most chronically ill and seemingly visibly healthy people encounter the problem of doctors ignoring them or, even worse, mistrusting them. I have the opposite "problem", the doctor is so interested in my case they text me to try to book new appointments. It happens so often that he agreed to do tele-medicine appointments, which is kind of like Skype calls. At every appointment I'd be asked the same questions about how I was doing on a day-to-day basis and told to provide sleep data from my fitbit. This showed the doctor how insane my sleep and pain situation is and so his interest only increased and that's when he asked to do a wider official study.
      As exciting as this is, I know it's going to be a tedious process. I have to fill out an excel spreadsheet everyday that would show all the tiniest details about my sleep and pain cycles. When exactly did you take your pills? What dose were they? What was your pain level that night and the next day? How's your mood? What's your energy level? When did you wake up and fall asleep? Did you use the special wakefullness light after waking up? How stressed are you? How well can you concentrate? What does your fitbit say about awakenings, REM patterns, and deep sleep amounts? Did you take any naps? All this information needs to be filled out on a daily basis for the study. The hope is that this data will convey how unprecedented the severity of my issues are. As the doctor put it, we've been sailing in uncharted waters because no one anyone knows of takes the amount of sedatives that I do while still not falling asleep until I've been awake 24 hours. Remember, the maximum dose for quetiapine is 300 and I take 2300. My parents and I were watching a show called Homeland and at one point one of the characters get a normal dose of this medication and are warned "It will knock you out for days." We started laughing because here I am taking 8 times the maximum dose and I still can't sleep, yet this character is totally knocked out.

       What would be amazing is if this study catches the eye of other researchers who will want to know even more. The assumption is that I just don't metabolize medications properly so if we could fund the pharmacokinetics study I mentioned in the past we could find out what the hell is going on in my body. If we can't get it funded we might just pay the $10000 and do it ourselves at this point. At the very least it would tell us when the optimal time to take each of my pills is based on how my body absorbs them. Perhaps it would even show that I can safely take far higher dosages of my medications because most of it isn't actually making it to my brain.
    The next step in this plan is being referred back to my very first sleep doctor from 2010. He still runs a sleep study clinic so I'll get another one done with him to see how things have changed from the previous sleep studies from many years ago. We're also going to do a melatonin blood test for the first time. I'm interested to see if I have low melatonin levels that explain my insomnia or normal levels that are essentially cancelled out by my ridiculous pain intensity. This first doctor is the one I saw before I was diagnosed with EDS and the only one to agree with me that I was miserable, not clinically depressed, so I'm excited to see him again. Unfortunately this sleep doctor is away for the next while so I may have to do this all in the middle of the next semester which will already be a struggle with my horrible sleep patterns. The plan is to keep doing online courses because ensuring I'm awake on time for each lecture with a 24 hour sleep schedule would be impossible, particularly if I have 3 1.5 hours classes in a week instead of 1 3.5 hour class.
     I had to come back from summer camp a bit earlier than I planned because all the massage therapists in the area of the camp were fully booked up and my legs were killing me. I saw one once while there and they said what they all say, that the only other time they use maximum pressure is with 400 pound patients. My muscles are just that tight as a response to the pain.  I became really sick the day after getting back and it lasted for 16 days because of how crucial decent sleep is in getting better. Not only is my sleep and pain bad to begin with, it gets even worse when you're fighting off a virus. My doctor confirmed that the sickness was causing problems when I showed him that my fitbit said I was getting 10 hours of sleep instead of 16, almost literally no REM or deep sleep, with the REM being so low it wouldn't even assign a percentage to it.
     My shoulder problems have also increasingly come to the forefront of things in the past year. It burns a few times every day so I went to see a shoulder doctor about it. He said my trapezius muscles were atrophied and so physiotherapy might help with the pain. I'd seen this doctor many years ago when my right shoulder first started sublaxating and he said my rotator cuff muscles were atrophied and so I did physiotherapy for that and now when I saw him again he said the cuffs are fine. I went to a new physical therapist and my strength has greatly improved; he said I had perfect exercises form when I saw him again. Unfortunately, my pain hasn't been helped much despite the strength improvement. However, I do think I've been subluxating a bit less. I'm seeing the doctor again in October, hopefully we can find ways to avoid another surgery. I had hernia surgery in February so am not too keen on the idea of having two in one year. Note the asymmetry and winged scalpula:

     You may remember the theme of my hopes being built up with different ketamine solutions only to be somewhat dashed soon after. Not only were the infusions not the permanent solution I hoped for, but the nasal spray I was recently given has its own problems. I had to fight to get a second infusion 6 months after the first one when it was supposed to be one year and then that infusion wasn't nearly as helpful as the first one. Then I'm told I'll only be allowed one more infusion next year so it doesn't screw up my brain too much. That's understandable, but I wish I was given this disclaimer beforehand. Then I'm given the ketamine nasal spray, and while it wasn't as helpful as the infusion, it helped. But wait! Cause now it turns out you can't use it everyday or it will stop working and also destroy your brain. Almost every time I don't use it I have a crappy sleep so the impact on my functioning was very much different than what I hoped for and expected. Stop building my hopes up, man! To prepare for camp I stopped using it for the whole week before, which of course sucked. Though this allowed me to use it everyday while at camp, which the doctor said was a reasonable compromise. He had concerns over nasal perforation from the spray but I looked into this and apparently it shouldn't be a huge concern. The worst thing is breathing in the nasal spray too hard and it going down to your throat. It stings and tastes awful. The doctor had never prescribed the nasal spray before but people in the EDS Facebook groups swore by it so I was able to convince him to make yet another exception for me. I quickly realized I could raise the dosing frequency because a day for me is twice as long as a day for regular people so if I use it once when I'm awake it will be around 38 hours until I want to take it again instead of, say, 20.
    Something else kinda concerning only really happens when I take an extra quetiapine in the morning to fall back asleep, which is very rare. I'll wake up to go to the bathroom or whatever and a few seconds after standing up and walking I'll just completely collapse on the ground. I lose complete control of my body for a second and just plop right down. So far I've never fallen into anything but it's a scary sensation for sure. I only ever take that extra pill when I know it will ruin something important coming up that day if I don't get the extra sleep. It's a weird feeling because it's not really fainting, you're fully conscious but lose all feeling and strength in your body for a moment. I should do what people with POTS do and stand up slowly but when I wake up in the early morning after taking all those sedatives I'm not exactly thinking clearly. Hopefully this is all harmless.