Setting Sail, Coming Home
This is a song I listened to on my way back home after being discharged from the hospital. As a result I strongly associate the song with that car ride. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDflVhOpS4E#t=1m2s
This is a song I listened to on my way back home after being discharged from the hospital. As a result I strongly associate the song with that car ride. Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDflVhOpS4E#t=1m2s
I set my sail; fly, the wind it will take me, back to my home, sweet home. Lie on my back, clouds are making way for me, I'm coming home, sweet home: Pretty self-explanatory, I’m finally going home after a multi-month involuntary internment in a psych ward.
I see your star, you left it burning for me; mother, I'm here: Finally returning to my parents was emotional, but my path wasn’t my own. At this point the official diagnosis was mental rather than physical so I just had to go along with things I knew wouldn’t help and actually often harmed. I was allowed to sleep at home but still had to go to the hospital during the day so I could lie about all the amazing progress I was making.
Build that wall and build it strong, 'cause we'll be there before too long. I dig my hole, you build a wall, one day that wall is gonna fall: Being discharged from the psych ward didn’t mean my situation had improved at all. My experiences were making me hateful towards doctors, towards family, and most of all towards myself. The last time I can remember lying was when I did so to get discharged from the psych ward. After the discharge I continued digging myself deeper into a hole of misery while the barriers in understanding between me and those trying to help me only became more concrete. It was unsustainable and everybody knew it, that wall was always going to fall.
Eyes open wide, feel your heart and it's glowing, I'm welcome home, sweet home. I take your hand, now you'll never be lonely, not when I'm home, sweet home: Going back home after facing the brink of death wasn’t an easy transition. Blame for the situation was being thrown around like hot potatoes, mostly by me. My absence left a void that needing filling.
Gonna build that wall up to the sky, gonna build that wall up to the sky, one day your bird is gonna fly: Like I said, the buildup of pain both physical and mental was unsustainable. I had left the hospital alive but the destructive cycle had not been broken. As long as the wall remained then another suicide attempt was only a matter of time. It finally fell in 2013 with my EDS diagnosis and I no longer had to defend my mental state.
